Shake it out
by SamBelle
Summary: Set during DH, after Malfoy Manor. They landed with a thud in the wet sand. In an instant Ron was back on his feet, carrying Hermione's unconscious form towards the cottage, pushing past his brother as he went. Inside he gently laid her ghostly pale form down on the bed. She was very light, but still felt heavy. Mass art post by me on tumblr 23/06/2018. Link on profile.
1. Chapter 1-Heavy In Your Arms

**A/N: This is just a little drabble I came up with after noticing the absence of any real mention of Hermione after her torture in both the book and the film. Anyway, thank you for reading and please review.**

 **PS. I do not own Harry Potter**

They landed with a thud in the wet sand. In an instant Ron was back on his feet, carrying Hermione's unconscious form towards the cottage, pushing past his brother as he went. Inside he gently laid her ghostly pale form down on the bed. She was very light, but still felt heavy. He was carrying his feelings for her as well, especially the guilt he felt for leaving her.

Her clothes were torn and shallow cuts littered her smooth skin. Ron could see her chest rise and fall, and felt the relief wash over him. He realised this could've been a lot worse, which was ironic, considering she might never wake up or be herself again.

He sat next to her, holding her hand, only looking away when Fleur started to undress her. When this happened he would focus on her face, her beautiful face, imagining her eyes opening and remembering her smile. He stayed next to her until long after everyone had gone to bed. He wasn't going to leave her, not this time.

At some point his tired mind realised that Hermione's breathing changed. He watched as her eyes slowly opened. Her expression turned into a frown as her eyes looked around, finally stopping on him. "Ron" she whispered. Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming. Ron felt as if all the weight had been lifted off his shoulders. She was alive- she remembered him.

He saw her wince as he helped her sit up, feeling the wound dressing above her hip. With his wand he filled the glass on the bedside table with water, urging her to drink slowly. Once the glass was empty Hermione leaned back against the pillows, slowly pulling her shirt up. Most of her torso was covered in bandages from where the spells had scorched her skin as Bellatrix tortured her. "How bad is it?" she asked meekly.

Ron swallowed. "I only caught a glimpse of it, but they look like electrical burns. Fleur says they will heal without leaving scars though" he answered.

Hermione nodded, staring down at the angry letters shining through the dressing on her arm. "That one will leave a scar" Ron said sadly. "There was something on the dagger-a curse or something. It won't heal with magic, we tried. It will have to heal on its own"

Her eyes glazed over. "Dobby's dead, isn't he? I caught a glimpse of the blood when you picked me up, before I passed out again" her voice was shaky, and it sounded more husky than usual.

Ron simply nodded, squeezing her hand as tears started running down her cheeks. "It's my fault" she sobbed. "I was the one that wanted to go see Luna's father." Ron got up from the chair and sat down next to her on the bed. She felt so cold and small as he held her to him, assuring her that it wasn't her fault. None of it was.

*#*#*#*

It's been nearly a week since they arrived at Shell Cottage. Hermione was improving, but was still very weak. She didn't eat much, except for soup and the occasional slice of bread. Bill said that the other food was still too rich for her. She moved slowly, and could now climb the stairs with some help. Her pain finally started to subside a bit and was now mostly just a dull ache. She slept restlessly, for she was haunted by nightmares.

When she woke this morning, she decided that she needed a sense of normality. She got up and went over to the cupboard to get dressed, something Fleur would usually help her do. Luna's bed was empty; she was probably already outside.

Dressing went much slower than expected. It hurt to lift her arms, or legs, or bend over, or sit down to tie her shoes, or move, or breathe. After many hisses and muttered cuss words, Hermione stood back to admire her her handiwork in the mirror. She was disappointed when she noticed it had taken her over ten minutes to put on some underwear, a pair of jeans, a jersey, socks and shoes. She was even more disappointed when she saw that she still looked like chopped up liver.

She then decided that she needed to brush her hair, and possibly braid it as well. Hopefully that will make her look a little better. She searched in her beaded bag for her brush. Slowly she started to run it through her messy curls. Fleur had helped her wash her hair the previous night, but it was already tangled. She wasn't getting far- she kept having to stop to take a break. The pain was getting worse from all the movement.

A soft knock sounded from the door. Ron entered, carrying a mug. Hermione could smell the mint in the tea. He looked surprised as he handed her the mug. "You're already dressed" he said, sounding impressed. A small smile crossed her lips. "How did you manage that?" he asked.

"I've been told I'm a very determined person" she answered. Ron scoffed at this.

"Would you like some help with your hair?" he asked after spotting the brush on her knee. She said yes, softly adding that she can't even do that by herself anymore.

"You'll get there" Ron said gently. "Meanwhile you should enjoy this, it's not often that I do these things." Hermione gave him a soft smile before moving to make space for him to sit behind her on the mattress. She had one leg tucked under her while the other dangled over the edge, sipping her tea carefully.

Gently Ron started to brush her hair, taking his time to loosen the tangles. When her hair was a smooth as it could be, he divided it into three sections. Luckily his big hands could easily manage the frizzy hair, so he didn't have the same problem as Hermione's small hands did. With much concentration he started weaving the sections into a braid. When he reached the bottom, he used the elastic around the handle of the brush to secure the braid.

"Done" he said, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze. Her muscles were tight. She raised her arms to feel the back of her head.

"Not bad" she said. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"Ginny used to force me, plus I've watched you do it plenty of times over the past couple of months" he answered.

"So how do I look?" she asked, getting up to go look in the mirror.

"Like Hermione Granger, the bravest girl in the world" Ron answered. This answer came in second to 'beautiful', but last time he told her she looked beautiful she started crying, explaining that that was what Greyback had called her as well.

"So I don't look like I washed up on the beach?"

"Of course not"

Secretly Ron's heart did about a thousand somersaults. She was feeling a lot better. She had finished her tea and dressed herself, and these might be small victories, but to Ron they meant everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I just finished this chapter and fic and decided to post the last part. Enjoy and please review.**

Hermione sat up in bed, panting slightly. A thin sheen of sweat covered her entire body, and pain coursed through her like electricity. She was thankful that her muscles actually obeyed her orders to sit up this time, for she's been trying for the past ten minutes.

She took a sip of water, trying to calm herself. She'd just had a seizure. This was second one since the escape from Malfoy Manor. Nobody knew about it though; she kept it secret because she didn't want the others to worry. She'd read somewhere that this could happen after being tortured with the Cruciatus Curse, especially if the torture went on for longer than half an hour, and could continue happening for years to come.

There was no cure, the only thing that could be done was to inject the person with muscle relaxants so the convulsions would be less severe, but that didn't stop it from happening. The taste of bile was still present in her mouth. She was lucky she didn't choke on her own vomit. She knew she had to tell someone, this couldn't go on forever, but who? Who deserved to be burdened with yet another secret?

She had to get out of the cottage. Lying there in pain was becoming unbearable. The low fever she had had passed, but she still felt sick. She felt sick because people kept fuzzing over her and telling her that she wasn't okay, but since when did she allow others to make her decisions for her?

Quietly she padded down the stairs into the kitchen. Ron woke when the back door creaked, just in time to see her heel disappear. He got up and followed her, not knowing why she was up in the first place.

It was dawn. The darkness was starting to fade enough for Hermione to see where she was going. The navy sky above her started to turn turquoise over the ocean. The silver moon still sat high in the sky, but didn't shine as bright as it had a few hours ago. The sand felt cold underneath her feet, and gave way when she put her full weight on it. She loved the sensation of the rough texture between her toes as the wind whipped her hair across her face.

Ron watch her from behind. He walked slowly towards her, for he didn't want to startle her. She looked up at the remaining stars and took a deep breath. Then she started running.

It wasn't a gentle jog she started with, but a full out sprint. She ran as fast as her sore legs would carry her. At this rate she wouldn't be able to run very far, she knew that, but she didn't care. In that moment she didn't care about a lot of things. She didn't care that she was only wearing her pyjama shorts and tank top despite it being freezing outside, she didn't care that her body felt like it was about to explode, or that her legs were about to give in underneath her, she didn't care about the wave of fatigue that was threatening to knock her over. She didn't care, because in that moment she felt free-like none of those things mattered.

After sprinting an impressive 200 metres her legs finally couldn't take it anymore and gave in. She fell to her knees panting for air. Her lungs were on fire as she wheezed, trying to quench the burning sensation with oxygen. Ron fell down in the sand beside her, his face laced with concern. "Hermione, are you hurt? What's wrong, Mione?" he asked.

She smiled as she slowly fell onto her back. The pain was worse than anything she had ever felt before. Her muscles were rigid, her heart was hammering against her ribs, her chest cavity wouldn't expand enough to let the air in. She had never felt so warm before, like she was about to catch fire. Her stomach felt like someone had stuck millions of needles into her skin and was now jumping on it as sharp pains originating from nowhere in particular were all registering in her racing mind.

Ron was worried sick. He was on his knees bent over her, one hand holding her cold, stiff one. "Mione, talk to me" he pleaded. Her face and chest was flushed, she couldn't breathe. He placed his hand on her forehead to find that it was incredibly warm. Every muscle in her body was tense and her eyes were shut tight. "Mione, please, stay with me"

With a sudden gasp Hermione drew as much air as possible back into her lungs. Ron watched as her face pulled into what he first thought was a grimace, but was actually a smile. She let out a strangled laugh as Ron's heart seized up once again. Did she finally go mad as he had feared?

"Hermione?" he asked.

"Ron" she panted softly. "I'm alive. I made it" she said, smiling. "I'm free" she added in top volume as a tear spilled from her eye.

Hermione slowly felt the pain subside once more as she laid there on the cold, wet beach, watching the sunrise. When her body allowed her to sit up again, she leaned heavily into Ron's side. "I had a seizure this morning" she said. "It's the second time it's happened." She felt him tense beside her, then relax again as she explained that this was normal and nothing to worry about. Her eyelids were getting heavy, and she was shivering from the cold.

"Ready to go back?" Ron asked her.

She let out a soft groan as the wave of fatigue washed over her. She felt a soft kiss on top of her head, and felt herself being lifted off the ground. Two strong arms were keeping her safe from the cold, carrying her back to the cottage as she rested her head on Ron's shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I hope you enjoy and please review**

Loud screams and pleas echoed through the silent house. The voice yelling them was getting raspy. Ron woke with a start. He heard one door fling open, followed by another, with quick footsteps in between. He heard the low drone of his brother's voice as he got up and moved swiftly to the stairs.

Hermione. He knew it was her. It was always her. For the past three weeks, nearly every night. No dreamless sleep potion was strong enough to keep the nightmares at bay. As he went up the stairs he heard her voice. Suddenly a small figure stormed past him. He sprinted after her.

They ran outside onto the beach. Thankfully Hermione was still weak and Ron's legs were much longer than hers, so he caught up quickly and lifted her off the ground. He placed her down gently and pulled her down to sit. Her breathing was riddled with wheezing as she tried to take in oxygen. The look in her eyes told him that she wasn't present.

He could feel every muscle in her body contract as she let out painful coughs between the sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks. He positioned her to sit sideways between his legs with both her legs bent over his left thigh. His left arm pulled her to him while his right hand consolingly rubbed her back. He let her lean her head against his chest, whispering soothing words into her hair.

After a few achingly long minutes her breathing started to slow. Ron felt a slick warmth on his left arm and realised that her wound was bleeding again. He looked down and saw her right hand move over her left forearm. Then Ron understood-she was scratching herself in her sleep, trying to remove the mark. He knew the curse on the blade caused the consistent bleeding, but Hermione subconsciously contributed. He slowly took both her wrists into his hand.

Hermione felt cold and warmth contrasting each other on different parts of her body. Her wrists were being covered by something big and warm. She felt the cool wind blowing over her clammy skin. She opened her eyes, and they took a second to register the stars in the sky-the tiny dots blurred by tears. She tried to sit up, only to realise that she was already sitting.

After a moment she noticed that she was sitting outside on the beach, leaning against Ron. she could feel his chest rise and fall steadily and heard his heartbeat underneath her ear. Slowly she tilted her head to look up at him.

"Hey" he smiled. "Are you calm now?"

She ignored the question. "Why are we outside?" she asked.

"Don't you remember?" She shook her head, wincing at the movement. "Hermione, you had a nightmare. When Bill tried to calm you down you ran outside. I followed you, afraid that you might get lost or hurt" he answered calmly.

She grimaced as she pushed off him to sit upright. He let go of her wrists, noticing that she was oblivious to the bleeding. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine" she lied.

"Rubbish" he retorted, but didn't push her any further.

They sat in silence, looking at the stars. Tonight they shone beautifully bright, their reflections elegantly dancing on the calm waves of the ocean. The full moon dressed everything in silver, including Hermione's silent tears. Ron hugged her gently.

"What's wrong, 'Mione?"

"I am so tired" she admitted. "I can't sleep, and the little sleep that I get can hardly be called peaceful. And I'm tired of waking up being held down. You should've just left me where I lied on the floor" she said softly, keeping her eyes focused on the blurry sand. "I'm damaged goods" she whispered.

Ron looked horrified. "You are not damaged goods" he said sternly. "You are Hermione Granger. We would never have been able to get this far without you. You are brilliant, caring and beautiful." He saw the discomfort in her eyes when he mentioned 'beautiful', remembering that's what Greyback called her as well. He tilted her head so she looked him in the eye. "You are beautiful, no matter what that bloody werewolf said or how he said it. You are a gift to the world and it's a privilege to call you my friend" he paused to wipe away the tears with his thumbs. "I will never leave you again, I can promise you that."

She gave him a weak smile, then shut her eyes tight, curling around her stomach. "What's wrong?" Ron asked in surprise. She seemed fine just a second ago. Hermione was on her hands and knees in an instant, heaving her meager stomach contents onto the sand. Ron instinctively pulled her hair back as she kept on dry heaving, feeling like her back might break.

Powerlessly she dropped down next to the vomit. The coolness from the sand felt soothing against her hot cheek. She felt Ron stroke her arm, his other hand running through her hair. "I felt like I was flying when I ran the other day, now I just feel like I might die before dawn" she said hoarsely.

"Don't talk like that, you've made it this far" Ron said softly.

He could see that she still felt discouraged. He lied down on his back beside her and pulled her head carefully onto his shoulder, wrapping his arm around her for warmth. "Just focus on the stars. Even if dawn never comes and we're stuck in perpetual twilight, we will always have the stars. They can't be put out, so we will never be left in the dark"

Ron looked down to see her dark orbs sparkle with the tiny reflections. She could still see the small specks of light as her eyelids started to droop closed.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I will be posting two more chapters within the next week. Also, I will be posting quite a bit of my artwork (mostly Romione) on tumblr the 23 of June 2018. The link is on my profile. Enjoy and please review.**

Hermione slowly became aware of the steady heartbeat thudding in her left ear. A comfortable warmth surrounded her. She looked around, seeing the moon stream into the bedroom of Shell Cottage through the small gap between the curtains. Ron was lying on his side next to her, his chest against her side. His head was somewhere above hers and his left arm was draped loosely over her midsection. She could feel his chest rise and fall against her cheek. His breathing wasn't as deep as it usually was when he was asleep.

"Ron, are you still awake?" she whispered.

She received a grunt in response. She moved to sit up, but fell back as a searing pain shot through her torso. The top her head narrowly missed Ron's nose. She hissed and hugged her arms around her ribs and stomach. Ron sat up, looking at her with concern.

"Is the pain worse again?" he asked.

She nodded and shot him a weak smile. "I'm fine"

Ron gently placed a hand over her left one, moving his thumb over her knuckles. "Should I go get Fleur or Bill?" he asked, sounding worried.

"No" she said, shaking her head. "The pain will go away eventually"

"Where were you going anyway?"

"To the bathroom" she replied in a small voice.

"I can help you if it's urgent" said Ron, thankful for the darkness so she couldn't see him blushing.

Now it was Hermione's turn to blush. Had it been any other day she would've declined, but she really had to go and the pain wasn't loosening its hold. "If you don't mind"

*#*#*#*

Ron stood with his back to the loo, trying not to think about what was happening behind him. He could've waited outside, but Hermione was feeling dizzy and he was afraid she might fall if he left her alone.

"Okay, I'm done" she said from behind him.

He turned around and made sure to look just at her eyes. Gently he helped her up and kept her stable while she pulled up her knickers and pyjama bottoms. Her body felt tense from the pain. As Ron took a step back, he noticed the blood on her shirt. It was still wet.

"You're bleeding" he said worriedly.

She looked down and saw the red mark decorating her light blue shirt. "You have blood on you as well" she said, observing the red streaks on his arms and clothes.

He took her left wrist and turned her arm carefully. Blood trickled down her forearm. Her eyes glazed over. Ron took a step closer and placed his hands under her elbows.

"I'm fetching Bill. Just lie down in the tub, I'll be right back" he said, helping her lie down. As soon as she was settled he ran down the hallway to fetch his brother.

They both returned seconds later to find a ghostly pale Hermione in the tub. "Her arm's bleeding again, and the clenching pain in her torso is back. She's feeling dizzy as well. She couldn't get up but had to use the loo. I only noticed the blood now" Ron explained, words coming out in quick succession. "I think she scratched herself in her sleep again"

"Again?" Hermione asked softly.

"I've been suspecting it for a while now, but this time you have blood underneath your fingernails"

Bill, who had been looking at her arm, placed it down next to her. He then pressed down on her abdomen, just a little under her belly button. Hermione squirmed and grimaced, letting out a moan of discomfort. Bill's eyebrows knotted and his lips were in a straight line.

"Have you flushed yet?" he asked Ron, who shook his head. Hermione was taking deep breaths to recover. Bill lifted the toilet seat and peered in.

"Thought so" he said, turning back to the tub.

"What?" Ron asked.

Bill lifted Hermione's arm above her head and used his wand to wet a flannel. "There's blood in her urine. Her abdomen is rock solid, the curse can cause her muscles to contract again periodically a few times some time after if it went on for long enough. The pressure is causing blood to leak into her urine" he explained, summoning a bandage to wrap her arm in.

Ron's eyes filled with concern but Hermione just looked dead tired. "Will she be okay?" Ron asked.

"She needs rest, and we'll keep her as comfortable as possible" Bill answered.

"I told Harry not to push her. She shouldn't be doing research and planning. It's only been two weeks" Ron exclaimed, running his hands through his hair.

"Harry has nothing to do with this, the effects of the curse are just worse than we anticipated" Bill said calmly. "Are you doing okay?" he asked Hermione.

"I've been better" she replied.

"Harry's not here, there's no need to pretend" Ron muttered.

Bill bent over and gently scooped her up in his arms. Her body resisted the movement, but after quite a few grunts and moans, Hermione was back on her bed. Bill quickly cast a silencing spell in Luna's direction before sitting down next to Hermione.

"I need to feel something, and it's going to hurt" he told her. She nodded and lifted her shirt.

"Is this high enough?" she asked.

He nodded, placing his hands down flat so his palms were just above her pubic bone. "Exhale and then hold your breath, okay?" he said.

Ron could see her flat belly rise under his brother's large hands. She looked petite. She closed her eyes and exhaled. His brother suddenly lifted his weight off the bed. The mattress dipped under Hermione's lower back. He could see her squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her lips together. Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she didn't scream. Her stomach caved in under Bill's hands.

It was over in an instant, but it had felt like an eternity. Bill sat down again, slowly easing his hands off her. "Are you okay?" he asked. She merely whimpered in response. Slowly he began rubbing large circles over her tummy. She took deep breaths through her nose.

Ron was furious. He slapped Bill hard on the arm. "What the bloody hell was that for?" he asked.

"I had to make sure she wasn't bleeding internally. I know there's a spell for it, but I don't know it. The muscles are tense but luckily the area underneath gave way and felt soft enough that it shouldn't be a problem" Bill explained. "I'm sorry" he said to Hermione.

Ron took her hand and squeezed. She gave him a weak smile and thanked Bill.

"Will you be staying with her?" he asked Ron, who nodded earnestly. "Let me know if she feels or looks worse" he instructed before leaving.

As soon as the door was closed, Ron curled up on his side next to Hermione. She was asleep within seconds, but he continued to rub soft circles on her tummy.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for reading and please review.**

Hermione woke up a few hours later. The pain in her torso was starting to subside and breathing was easier. She sat up slowly-this time she didn't fall back. Ron's hand had fallen into her lap, a little too close to a certain private area.

Hermione felt her cheeks start to warm. She only realised now that Ron was sleeping in her bed. RON was sleeping in her bed. His hand was on her thigh. He was snoring softly. If they weren't fighting a war, Hermione would like to think they'd still be in the same position sharing the same bed, but without all the pain. She would also like to think that she'd have had the courage to tell him how she felt and that he would feel the same way.

She could feel a burning desire start low in her abdomen. The usually pleasant feeling now caused her to grimace. Her uterus was still technically recovering from previous injuries, making even lust feel painful. Just then Ron's hand moved, and Hermione shut her eyes trying to ignore the sensation.

She had to get up. Her toes curled as the pain spread through every inch of her. This pain wasn't the same as before-it was caused by her own need. She got up and padded down the stairs to go outside.

Once was on the beach, she felt the wind in her face and the cold water wash over her feet. Only now did she realise what her mind had said before. This pain was caused by her own need. Need, not desire. She needed Ron, she needed him to love her. For the first time ever Hermione was able to admit that to herself. She needed Ron and she loved him, had for a long time now. That was why she felt like dying when he left them. Suddenly breathing felt easier; she was able to solve the riddle. Guess almost dying puts things into perspective.

She felt free. Tears rolled down her cheeks, not bothering her in the least. She felt almost giddy. Her heart finally knew the truth. She loved Ronald Weasley. In an act of impulse she walked deeper into the icy water. Waves now rolled past, wetting her knees. A few more steps and she could feel the salt water burning the wound on her arm.

She couldn't even bring herself to care. For the second time since escaping Malfoy Manor, Hermione didn't care about anything except for the fact that she was still alive. The water now came up to her shoulders. She felt cold yet so warm. She revelled in all the sensations; the smooth water on her skin, gently rocking her back and forth, the sound of the waves rolling behind her, the feeling of the sand beneath her feet and the colour of the sky changing to prepare for the sunrise.

Then suddenly she just felt cold. Her limbs felt so heavy and she was tired to the bone. She started swaying on her feet, she felt like she was spinning. The water splashed on her face-in her mouth. She coughed, trying to get it out. Panic was starting to build up inside her. The weight of the water was making it hard to breathe. She needed air, needed help, needed Ron. Everything went dark, and she felt herself being pulled under.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I think this will be the last chapter. I can't write accents to save my life, so please forgive my attempt at Fleur's. Please check out my tumblr page (link on profile) this Saturday (23/06). Enjoy and please review.**

She felt so cold. Her limbs felt as if needles were piercing her skin. She could tell that she was wet. Like watching a film, she was aware of what was happening around and to her, but it didn't feel like her.

She felt warm hands pressing on her chest and then warmth on her separated lips. She felt her lungs inflate and deflate, then inflate again before the hands returned to her chest. Her eyes flew open and she coughed, spitting up the saltwater. She could feel her life becoming her own again.

Her eyes came to focus on a red cheeked Ron. His hair was dripping wet and his lips were in a thin line, eyes filled with concern. As she breathed she could see his face wash over with relief and an emotion she daren't name. His hands were still on her chest while she lied on her back. He noticed and quickly removed them.

"Sorry" he mumbled, tips of his ears turning bright red. "Are you alright?"

Before she could answer Ron hugged her to him. "I was so worried. I came outside and saw you in the water, then you just disappeared" he blurted out. He released her, but she just held on tighter.

"Don't let go" she pleaded. She could scold herself later for sounding so pathetic.

*#*#*#*

A few moments later a still fazed Hermione sat on a sofa inside, wrapped in a towel and a blanket. Ron was sitting beside her, rubbing her back. At least six pairs of eyes were fixed on her, but she didn't bother counting.

Her body hurt with renewed zest. She let out intermittent coughs. A raspy, shaky voice that sounded nothing like her own explained what had happened. It required lots of concentration to tell the redacted version- she wasn't ready to admit the real reason why she had felt so happy. "...and then I felt the water on my face. I started to panic; I felt so heavy and tired. It felt like I was being pulled down. I didn't know where I was or what was happening. I guess I had a panic attack. Next thing I knew, I was on the beach with Ron blowing air into my mouth"

Ron's movements stopped for a second before continuing again.

"You must've been pulled in by ze tide" Fleur said as she got up. "Let'z get you some dry clothes"

Fleur got out some washed clothes from the drawer. Hermione tried to help, but her hands were still shaking. She started coughing again, and Fleur glanced over at her.

"Ermione, does your stomach feel upset?" she asked. Hermione, taken aback, nodded meekly.

"Lie down" Fleur ordered before rushing out of the room. Too confused to argue, Hermione obeyed. She had just lied down when Fleur returned, fitting a stethoscope head to the tip of her wand. "You must've swallowed a lot of water" she explained, sitting down on the mattress.

She pulled up Hermione's wet shirt before placing the stethoscope over her stomach and mumbling the incantation. Hermione held still, thinking somewhere at the back of her mind that the metallic head would probably have been cold had she not been freezing herself. Fleur lifted her wand and pressed down gently just underneath Hermione's ribcage. Hermione could feel the bile rise up in her throat. She tasted the salt as she swallowed hard.

"I can hear lots of liquid, your stomach iz probably filled with ocean water" Fleur said. "Your body shouldn't digest it all, ze salt iz not good for you. I will give you a potion to make you throw up"

"Can't you just give me something to neutralise it?" asked Hermione.

"I'm sorry, I do not have ze ingredients and ze water iz putting pressure on your stomach" Fleur explained, looking truly sorry. Hermione simply nodded.

"I would also like to listen to your lungs" Fleur added. Hermione sat up and felt her shirt pull away from her back as a hand slipped underneath the fabric. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

*#*#*#*

Ten minutes later Hermione was standing under the warm water of the shower, watching as the shampoo swirled down the drain. If she thought back to this moment years later, she might laugh at herself. Out of all the things she could be thinking about, all Hermione thought about was Ron's lips on hers. They were so soft and warm, and they fit perfectly on hers. Yes, he was giving her CPR, not kissing her, but still, their lips had touched.

After washing all the soap off, she shut the water off and wrapped a towel around her. She wasn't shivering anymore and Fleur had given her something for the coughing. Her stomach still felt full and uncomfortable though, for she still had to take the potion that would make her throw up.

Securing the towel, Hermione knelt down in front of the loo. She unstopped the bottle and downed its contents. It took a few seconds before she felt a shift in her stomach. There was a loud growl before she felt her muscles contract. Water came streaming out of her mouth. She gasped for breath between the heaves.

There was a knock at the door. Ron's concerned voice echoed through the door, asking if she was alright. Hermione had to fight the urge to groan, knowing that that would make him come in. She didn't want him to see her like this.

She swallowed and replied softly. She rested her head on her arm, taking a deep breath before flushing. Standing up slowly, she used the sink for support. The towel had come loose, so she was standing naked in front of a large mirror next to the sink. Trust the French to fit a full sized mirror into the small bathroom's decor.

Hermione instantly regretted looking at herself. She looked absolutely horrible. Her hair was messy and tangled, her skin was ghostly white and she had deep, dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes were no longer lifeless, but were filled with pain.

She could see the angry red line on her neck from the dagger. Her collarbones and ribs jutted out beneath her skin. Light bruising (from Ron's CPR) covered the scar that ran between her breasts, left there by Dolohov's curse. If she looked carefully, she could see the scar on her left breast from Bellatrix's curse, but it wasn't as bad as the one on her belly.

Her belly was an even sadder sight. It was nearly concave from starvation. A scar resembling a burn wound spread over her belly button. The ghosts of Bill's hands from the previous night stood in contrast with her pale skin. As she touched it she could feel her muscles contracting slightly, probably in preparation for her next torturing session.

The inspection continued. She had a scar from the night they all flew from Privet Drive to the Burrow. It was the smallest scar but was the worst one that she owned. As much as it pained her to look at the mudblood scar on her arm, it was nothing compared to the one just to the left beneath her belly button.

That one rendered her infertile by physically tearing her uterus. She could feel the burning behind her eyes. She needed to cover it up before Ron could see. She decided then that she could never tell Ron how she felt. He knew about the scar, he would just laugh at her foolishness. Why would he ever want to be with her? She's not even attractive, why would he settle for infertile as well?

She continued dressing, hearing Bellatrix's vile voice in her ears. It was telling her how she was worthless, hideous and unworthy of love. This mantra repeated over and over as Hermione fastened her trousers, put on her socks, pulled the jumper over her head and brushed her teeth.

It started above her right hip. The muscles burned and locked painfully into place. Then the sensation spread around her lower back, until it reached her other hip. Together the sensation started spreading from both hips through her body. The right side travelled up over her ribcage, restricting her breathing, while the left side sunk lower into her abdomen, clenching until she felt a small amount of urine leak into her knickers.

Then the burning spread between her shoulder blades and down her arms. Her knees threatened to give in as they too felt the sensation. Finally her toes curled as the pain washed over them. Her mouth went dry from the non-existing heat as her head began pulsing.

In that moment she should've felt a lot of things, but for some reason she only felt anger. She saw her reflection in the mirror and wanted nothing more than to break it. Without warning, her hand clenched into a fist and slammed into the glass. It shattered to pieces, cutting her hand as it fell to the floor.

Instant regret tried to wash over her, but her sobs beat it to the punch. She dropped to the floor, cradling her bleeding hand to her chest. The door flew open and Ron stormed in, kneeling down next to her. Heartbreaking sobs racked her sore body. She was so tired of needing help, of feeling nothing but pain. This was the worst way she could've chosen to express that tiredness, but it was too late now.

*#*#*#*

Hermione was leaning against the headboard of the bed. A stray drop from her hair ran down her face. Her left hand was in Fleur's gentle grip, the other was being held by Ron.

"I'm sorry about the mirror. I don't know what came over me, I was just so tired of my reflection" said Hermione.

Fleur looked up from where she was treating Hermione's hand for a second. "You are in immense pain. It can mess with one's mind" she answered.

Hermione hissed as Fleur dripped more dittany in her skin. The cut started to disappear. Her hand looked almost the same as it did before, but Fleur still wrapped her hand in a bandage for in case. She placed the repaired hand down gently before pressing down to feel Hermione's belly. It was still hard.

"I'm going to get you a hot water bottle. It might help ease ze pain" Fleur said before leaving. She was gone before Hermione could protest.

Once she was gone, Ron, silent since finding Hermione, looked up. "Why did you do that, Mione?" he asked. Hermione shrugged.

"I guess it was a cry for help" she replied. "I needed to get out of there"

"You know you could've just actually cried for help" said Ron, earning him a small smile.

"Maybe I'll try that next time"

Ron grinned for a second before his face went serious again. "How bad's the pain?" he asked. Hermione sighed.

"Bad enough that I wouldn't wish it on anyone"

"I wish you would wish it on me" Ron whispered, looking at his shoes. Hermione shifted so that she was facing him more. She winced at the movement, but reached out her left hand, her right one was still in his, to lift his chin.

"You are too good for this world, Ronald Weasley" she said seriously. He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Thanks for taking care of me" she added. He smiled warmly.

"Of course" he replied.

Hermione's voice became more teasing. "You know" she said with a twinkle in her eyes. "That turning me on my side to allow water to drain from my lungs first would've been more efficient"

Ron opened his mouth, but then saw her smile. "Well, I might've known that if you didn't try to join the mermaids" he teased back. They both laughed.

"You're going to be okay, Hermione" he promised. "It's just going to take some time"


End file.
